hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
