Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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