I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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