its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
