You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
