I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
