If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
