shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
