Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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