Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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