May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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