So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
