id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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