if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
