giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
