Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
