i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
