WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
