I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
