Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
