My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
