Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
