I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
