look no pants
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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