Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
