Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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