Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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