Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
