She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
