Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
