I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
