My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Even my vagina gasped.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
