David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize