idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
