porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
