i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
