It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
