when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Buhtt sex?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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