either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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