He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
