So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
