you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
