i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
