I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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