He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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