I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
