It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You made out with two different species that night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
