my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
