are you still at the devil's house?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
