Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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