he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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