How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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