I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
